I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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