Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
