I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
