Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I need to sanitize my soul.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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