she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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