You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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