so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you will always have a special place in my vag
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
