So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
