i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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