I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
