I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
