she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
