I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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