best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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