dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
