We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
