I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
