I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though