5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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