I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize