I want to walk on stilts...naked
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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