I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
