lets start a swedish sibling band together
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Sex in the backyard? Check.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
