booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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