tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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