Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Can Purell be used as lube?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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