sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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