dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
