saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
