if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
