Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
