This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Where is the hickey?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
