I smell stomach acid.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
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i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
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Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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