If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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