Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
