what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
this will be a night to untag.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
