guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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