Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
wanna go halves on a baby?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
