allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
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Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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