Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
