u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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