I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
