You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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