His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
