I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
