My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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