So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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