do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
