Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If I die, sorry about rent.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
