Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize