Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
