No more Irish car bombs ever.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
