awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
When are your genitals available?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
