Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
