I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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