puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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