we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
