im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
