I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
