I have demons in me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
