I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
