i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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