Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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