They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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