just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize