So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
